FANFICTION - Tell me how you lost me - Chapter 17

 
The following week, Ai and I were headed to Tokyo. I was a wreck the night before. It was already past 1AM and I still had not completely packed. Every time I seemed to be “packed” I would remember something and redo the packing all over again. By the time I had finished, it was already 4AM.

All the time we were travelling to Tokyo I was uneasy. I kept fidgeting in my seat.

“Riya-chan stop moving! You’re becoming really annoying.” Ai said.

“Sorry! It’s just that I can’t believe my luck. I’m on my way to Tokyo to watch an Arashi concert. How cool is that?”

“Yeah I know! Just don’t forget what I told you before. Take it slow. You don’t know what lies ahead.”

“Yeah.. yeah.. I get it. He’s an IDOL. I’m a NOBODY.” I replied sarcastically.

“That’s not what I meant. I just want you to take it slow and weigh the odds ok?”

“You sound like an old maid. No wonder you have no boyfriend.” I retorted.

“Oh shut up. Go to sleep. Your eyebags are showing.” Ai said as she hit me with the book she was holding.

The trip to Tokyo became the turning point of my life. The concert was superb as usual. The guys even invited Ai and I for a dinner after the show. Although Satoshi may have not said a lot during that time, being with him just made my day. I would usually catch him staring and when I ask him what he wanted, he’d just shake his head and say nothing. Right there and then I decided I wanted to stay in Japan.

I was a bit depressed when we returned to Yokohama three days after. Ai could not be away from the office for a long time, so even if I wanted to stay in Tokyo, I had no choice but go back to Yokohama.

I began officially working for Ai’s company after we got back from Tokyo. Ai had to rush the arrangement of my papers for me to legally work in Japan. I started out as an assistant for one of the managers. Although Ai wanted me to take charge of the research department, I had to start from the bottom. In addition to that I had to take Japanese lessons 2 hours everyday just so I could communicate better.

All those times, Satoshi has never failed to call or send me a mail. It was funny every time he calls. He would always try to say the things he wants to say in just a few words so I could understand. Although there was nothing concrete with what we have, I was happy with it. At least he knows I exist. How many fangirls would die just to have what I have with him?

It has been almost 4 months now and our conversations seemed to have taken a step up. With that I mean, he does not have to use just words to talk to me. I can now talk to him in sentences. Thanks to my weekend marathon of my all time favorite cartoon, Voltes V.

It was a cool September day when the thing that Ai dreaded the most happened. I was in Tokyo for a conference when I received his call.

“Riya, where are you?” he asked.

“I’m at a conference. Why?”

“What time do you get off?”

“ Maybe around 3PM. Why”

“Do you remember the restaurant we went to the last time you were here?” He asked.

“Yes.” How could I forget. I said to myself.

“Can you meet me there? There’s something I need to say.” He said.

“Why can’t you say it now.?”I asked

“ I need to say it to you in person.” He said sounding anxious.

“Oh ok. See you at 3PM.” I said before hanging up.

I was totally lost in space during the entire conference. My thoughts were trying to do a fast forward towards three o’clock. By the time the last speaker said thank you I was already flying out of the door and hailing a cab.

He was already seated in the corner booth when I arrived. He was fidgeting with the chopsticks. I stared a him for a moment before joining him.

“Hi. Sorry I’m late the taxi made a wrong turn.” I said as I slid onto the seat in front of him.

“It’s ok I just arrived myself.” He replied while still trying to play with the chopsticks.

“So what is it you wanna say?” I began.

“Anou.. don’t you think we should order first?” He asked.

“I’m not hungry. They served a lot of food during the conference. But if you’re hungry, go on and order something.”I replied.

“It’s ok. I’m not hungry either… I just want to get this over and done with.” The last sentence was more of a whisper.

“What?”

“Riya...” he began

“Hmmm?”

“Whatdoyousaywegetmarriedandspendtherestofourlivestogether?” He asked incoherently

“What? I didn’t get it. Say it again.” I said

“This harder than I thought.” He said wiping the sweat from his forehead.

“Satoshi, what’s wrong? You’re as white as a ghost? Are you ok?” I asked him.

“Yeah I’m ok.. Ok.. again… whatdoyousaywegetmarried?” He asked again still incoherently.

“Satoshi! You’re eating your words. Say it one at a time. I did not go here just so you could play games with me. Come on. I still have another conference tomorrow.” I said trying to sound annoyed.

“Well it’s not easy!” he retorted.

“What? What is not easy?” I asked.

“Asking you to marry me. There I said it.” He answered.

I was too stunned with what I heard that I was catatonic for almost 3 minutes.

“Say something. Please….” He pleaded.

“What do you want me to say?” I asked.

“Anything… Something good I hope.” He replied.

I breathed deeply three times before I could muster enough courage to ask him.

“Why?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” he returned the question.

“Why? Why are you doing this? Why are you asking me to marry you? Why me? Why now? WHY?”

“I don’t know.” He replied softly.

“That’s not the answer I want to hear.” I said

“Then what do you want to hear?” He asked.

“Something worth believing. Something real. Something that would want me to say yes...”

“Riya…”

“Something for me to hold on to…”

“Riya… I promise…” he began.

“Don’t!” I cut him off

“Don’t what?” he asked

“Don’t promise.” I answered.

“Why?”

“Coz promises are meant to be broken.” I said softly.