[Writings] Tell me how you lost me - 31

 Riya's POV
It was the feeling of someone tracing my face with his soft fingers that woke me up. I tried to open my eyes but stopped when I heard the familiar voice humming a song. The melody was so familiar that it sent ripples of familiar emotions. He continued to trace my face as he began to sing…

sorosoro iku ne ookina bakku ni
minna no omoi tsumete saigo ni furimuita
shiawase wa itsumo tsukamitoru mono
kimi ga iu minna no kao ga namida de yureru
sora wo tobu yume ga tachiagaru sono koe wo wasurenai
mienakutemo kienai you ni kagayakeru you ni
Stay with me

"Stay with me…" he whispered when he finished the song.
"Ohayo…" I said as I slowly opened my eyes.
"Ohayo…" Satoshi answered. He was beside me, staring at my face while he continued to trace it with his fingers.
“Did you know that this is the first time that I woke up before you did?" He asked.
"Huh?"
"I used to wake up with you staring at my face. You said you loved doing it, so I tried it today… you're right. It feels good." He said without taking his eyes off mine.
“That song you were just singing… it sounded familiar…”
“You loved that song.” He said still looking at me straight in the eye.
“Can you sing it again?” I requested.
He began to sing the song once more as I closed my eyes. Trying to dig deep within my memories. Trying to remember…

shiawase wa itsumo tsukamitoru mono
mune hatte ieru ka na koko ga ichiban shiawase to
sora wo tobu yume ga tachiagaru sono koe wo wasurenai
mienakutemo kienai you ni kagayakeru you ni
Stay with me
sorosoro iku ne ashita he arukidasu

As he sang the last line of the song, images seemed to flash in my mind… they weren’t complete… just images… of Shin… of Satoshi… of the cherry blossoms falling. I squeezed my eyes real tight before opening them.
“Daijobou?” he asked.
“I’m fine. Don’t worry. I need to get ready.” I said as I stood up.
“ Riya, matte…” he said as he grasped my hand. I was caught off guard that I ended up sitting on the edge of the bed with my back behind him.
“I wish I could find you… the real you… just like you found me before… then I’ll never let you go…” he whispered as he hugged me. His head buried in my nape.
“Satoshi…”
I could hear him sobbing as his hug felt tighter.
“Mama… let’s have breakfast.” Shin exclaimed as he opened the door.
Satoshi slowly go of me and turned his back from us as he probably wiped his tears away.
“Papa… you too… let’s go…”
I took one last look at him before I allowed my self to be dragged by Shin towards the door.
As we drove towards the airport, images continue to flash in my head from time to time. Shin was sitting on my lap talking about how excited he his for his birthday.
“Mama, we could go to the park and watch the cherry blossoms fall. Then we could go to the Doll museum and we could go and watch the sailboats… Ne papa?” Shin excitedly asked his Dad.
“Hai.” Satoshi replied softly as our eyes met.
“Ne, ne, Sho-touchan… why are we headed towards the airport.” Shin asked as he we were entering the airport.
No one seemed to have the guts to answer the little boy.
“Junjun?”
Jun looked away.
“Zu-chan? Why are we here?” He asked Nino who was sitting in front of him.
Nino did not take his eyes of his DS. He continued to play as if he did not hear the question.
“Zu… chi…chi…” Shin said softly.
Nino turned his DS off. Closed his eyes, turned to face Shin and kissed the little boy’s head before looking at me.
“You answer.” He mouthed.
“Mama?” Shin said as if waiting for me to give him the answer.
“Anou… Shin… I… I’m…” I began.
“You’re leaving again?” The little boy finished my sentence.
“I’m sorry.” I said softly as I touched the little boy’s face.
“NOOOOO!!!! No Mama! Don’t go! Papa… stop Mama please…” Shin began to scream.
“Shin…” Satoshi tried to pacify him.
“ No! No! No! Mama please don’t go. Please. I promise I’ll be very good… Please… Please…” Shin continued to cry as he hugged me. His little arms are now around my neck hugging me really tight.
Shin’s not stop crying and the continued flashes seem to worsen the situation.
Shin was literally hanging from my neck as we entered the airport. I tried to give him back to his dad but he did seem to want to let go.
“ Mama… please don’t leave me.. Mama… Papa do something… Junjun… Sho-touchan…Daddy... Zu-Chan… do something please.“
Shin’s bawling must have been really loud that it kind of attracted a large crowd. Before everyone else knew it, cameras were flashing everywhere. From fans, from bystanders and those journalists stationed at airports wanting to catch big stars leaving on secret rendezvous.
I watched the guys as they try to literally shove away the cameras in front of them while trying to pacify Shinichi at the same time.
Then it was as if a light was thrust in front of me creating a large flash that made me fall on my knees.
“Riya… daijobou?” Nino rushed to me and helped me up.
I looked at him in the eye and in an instant hugged him with all my might.
“I missed you Kazu…” I whispered.
He froze. He continued to stare as I let go of him.
“Riya… you…” he began.
“Shhh... don’t…” I stopped him.
I smiled and walked over to the rest of the guys.
“Give him to me.” I told Satoshi.
He handed Shinichi to me, I put him on his feet, held his hand and we walked to a far corner of the airport.
“Mama… mama… Please… please… don’t leave me…” He continued to cry as we were walking.
We stopped. I dropped to my knees so I could be at eye level with him.
“Mama… please… don’t go…” He continued.
“Shhh… mou iyo…” I said as I cupped his face with my palms…
“Ichi… kitte… I have to go right now…but…” I began.
“Mama…” his eyes widened in surprise.
“Nani?” I asked.
“That’s the first time you called me Ichi…” he said.
I just smiled as I touched his face.
“Listen to me… I need to go right now… This is what’s right. You may not fully understand it but you need to trust me ok?” I started.
“No. I don’t understand Mama. Why do you have to go?” he asked.
“I told you, this is what’s right.”
“How can it be right when you’re leaving me again? Don’t you love me Mama?”
I looked at the little boy front of me. For him to ask that question was an understatement. I hugged him close and whispered.
“I love you Ichi… I love you so much…”
“Then don’t go Mama… Please…”
“Ichi… Listen to me carefully… I’m leaving right now because this is the right thing to do… But I promise you I’ll come back.”
“Mama… promises are made to be broken right?”
I was shocked with what he said. I smiled and nodded.
“I’m not promising then. I’ll be sure to come back. Trust me.”
“But Mama…”
“Mou iyo… let’s go back… I need to check in…” I said as I held his hand once more as we walked back towards the guys.
Shin started crying again as I gave him back to his Dad.
“Riya… why don’t you stay for a while. We can go home together you know.” Jaja said.
“No, you stay. Have fun.” I said as I hugged her.
“Thanks guys… I know this is not what you want to happen but this is what I want. I hope we’ll meet again someday.” I shook Sho & Aiba’s hands.
“Thanks for everything. “ I said softly as I faced Jun.
He did not say anything. He looked at me in the eye before enveloping me in a heart warming hug.
“You don’t have to go, you know.” He whispered.
“I know but I need to.” I replied.
His eyes were on the floor when I turned to him. I know he was trying to hold back the tears. I reached out for his hand but I was wrapped in a hug instead.
“ Don’t go Riya…”
“Kazu… in time you’ll know why I have to… Just take care of him… one last time…” I whispered before giving him a kiss on the cheek.
I wanted to leave without saying goodbye to him. I would not know how to react. I took something out of my pocket and thrust it in to his hand.
“Goodbye.” With that I turned around and walked away without looking back.
SATOSHI'S POV
The paper I held scrunched up as I closed my hand into a fist. It was like a scene from a movie as I watched her back slowly disappear into the departure area. My whole being became numb of the excruciating pain that enveloped my heart. I could hear Shin's repeated "onegai's" as he pleaded for us to run after his mom.
I slowly opened my hand and unfolded the piece of paper. A silvery thing fell from it. As I picked it up, my heart began to beat fast.
It was the necklace I gave her years ago. With trembling hands, I read the paper…

Satoshi,
Give this back when you're ready to watch them fall with me… then I’ll tell you how you’ll find me…
Riya

She remembered.