[Writings] - Tell me how you lost me - 30

PRESENT DAY….
Satoshi’s POV
“You know what? If you had done that to me… You wouldn’t be alive right now.” Jaja commented as I finished narrating.
I did not say anything I just stared at Riya as she stroked Shinichi’s hair while he slept on her lap.
“I could not believe you actually did that. To think I had a different image of you.” Jaja added.
“I know what I did was wrong…” I began.
“Wrong? It’s more than wrong. It’s absurd. Horrible. Mortifying. Abominable. Atrocious. Dreadful. Pathetic. God , I could add more but I’m running out of words.” Jaja shrieked.
“Riya…” I called out to her. She wasn’t looking at me. She continued to brush Shin’s hair with her fingers.
“Riya…” I called again. She looked up. Her eyes met mine. There was something in her eyes.
“What?”
“Say something.”
“What do you want me to say?” She asked.
“Say you’re not leaving us again. Say you’re staying.” I replied.



“Why?”
“Why?” I returned the question.
“Why? We’re your family. Shin needs you. I need you...” the last sentence was more of a whisper.
“From what I’ve heard, you don’t need me...” She replied
“You do remember?” I asked excited.
“No I don’t.” She answered before going back to stroking Shin’s hair.
“But...”
“But what Satoshi?”
“You belong with us. With Shin, with me...”
“I belong to no one.” Her reply was stiff.
“Riya... Shin waited his entire life for you to come home...”
“ Why are you so concerned about him? You didn’t want him right?” She asked
“She’s right. How did Shin end up with you anyway? You gave Shin back to him? After everything he’s done?” Jaja said trying to talk to both Satoshi and Nino at the same time.
“He took him back... when he realized Riya was not coming back. I told him that she’ll never come back not unless he learns to accept Shin.” Nino explained.
“You mean he just took Shin back just because you told him Riya’s coming back to him if he accepts Shin? How low is that?” Jaja said
“No. That’s not just it. We whacked some sense into his brain. Well we actually talked to his parents and the Jimusho... all four of us were willing to risk going public with what has happened if he did not take Shin back. Plus who could resist Shin? He may look like his dad but his brain, he definitely got from his Mom.” Sho added.
“Riya… listen to me, I do regret everything. I admit I was an ass. No amount of explanation is going to compensate for what I’ve done to you, but I’m begging you come home , please.” I was begging.
“Satoshi… I… don’t… understand…”
“Riya… I’m willing to do anything… just come back… come home…” this time I was already on my knees, my voice starting to break up.
“Wait a minute. There are still a lot of unanswered questions. Before you go on with your “please come home, I’m begging you’ lines, let me ask a few things. First… why the hell do you speak ENGLISH? I know for a fact that you and him are the worst ones when it comes to English.” Jaja asked while still pointing at Aiba.
“Didn’t you hear what I just said? I’m willing to do anything just to have her back. I knew that someday she’s gonna come back. She learned Japanese for me, so I took English classes just for her.”
“Still, your reason sounds pathetic. You studied just so she would come back to you. Not reason enough if you ask me. Next question. Why didn’t you go and look for her. And you, didn’t she tell you she was going to Yokohama? Why didn’t you go there?” She asked addressing Nino this time.
“We did. That very same day. I called Ai to check whether you arrived, but she said you never came. The very next day we flew to Manila without ever knowing where and how to find you.” Nino replied looking at Riya.
“Oh, yeah. You wouldn’t have found her. She was probably lying in the hospital in a coma during that time.” Jaja remarked.
“Ok one last question, what are you going to do now? Her life’s different. She’s happy. I know she is. Plus, she’s getting married. Everything’s been arranged, Her trip here to Japan was her last one before tying the knot. So let me ask you again Satoshi. What are you going to do?” Jaja asked .
I looked at Riya and let out a deep sigh before answering.
“I… don’t know… I mean… I thought she would come back when she sees Shin…”
“You’re counting on your son to do your job? Shin wasn’t the one who let go in the first place. It was you. You should do what ever it is you need to do to get her back. Not that I’m saying that she should come running back to you with open arms. What I mean is prove to her that she belongs to you, to Shin, to your family. I may have a very evil image of you right now, but Shin, he deserves a family, a complete one. You have to at least give that to him.” Jaja said.
“I… how?” I asked.
“You’re asking me? I don’t have the answer to that. I was hoping you knew the answer.” Jaja replied.
“You guys have been talking about me as if I wasn’t here. A little respect please. Stop trying to decide for me. This is my life remember.” Riya suddenly said out of the blue.
“Riya…”
“What I do with my life is not the concern of neither one of you. I will do what I want, when I want it and how I want it.”
“Riya… please… I willing to do whatever you ask me to… just take me back… take us back…” I was crying now.
“You know what? If I was the Riya that you met a long time ago, I would have believed everything you just said. I would have been moved by your tears and your pleas. I would have accepted you right away without second thoughts. But I’m sorry, that is not me. Tears don’t work for me. I guess you deserve whatever it is you are suffering from right now. You brought it upon yourself. You are a self-centered, perverted jerk who took your wife for granted. If that happened right now, you will never see even a single hair strand of either me or Shin.” She exclaimed, her face now red.
“Just who exactly are you? Where is the Riya we all knew? I never thought I’d see you this strong.” It was Nino this time.
“This is the REAL Riya. The Riya you met, or who ever she is does not exist in my vocabulary. That Riya you knew was weak. She was stupid enough to believe everything you said to her. The Riya in front of you right now does not believe in promises…”
“ … because promises are meant to be broken…” I finished her sentence.
“Yes. They’re meant to be broken… which means you need to move on… Maybe I don’t need to remember whatever it is I had with you back then… maybe it was supposed to end this way.”
“No Riya I refuse to see it that way… I can’t move on…I’m not going to move on…”
“Satoshi… stop it… you have to move on… stop being stuck at that moment… that moment wasn’t meant to last…” She said.
“Riya… stop saying those things… please come home… your life is with us …”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“I don’t remember you. I don’t remember any of these… I don’t remember how it feels…”
“Riya… please… if you don’t remember then, we’ll start anew.”
“I can’t.”
“Why can’t you?”
“I don’t want to live a life I have no memory of.”
“But… Riya… Shin… he needs you…”
“I admit, there’s something about your son that I can’t quite seem to understand. I felt so connected with him but I still don’t remember.”
“Riya… please…”
“Stop it… Please…” she pleaded.
“I’m tired… can we go to sleep now… I need to leave early…” She added.
“NANDE?”
“WHY?”
Jaja and the five guys chorused.
“I’m going home tomorrow.”
“Wait… what do you mean… you’re going home… I just got here.” Jaja asked
“ You can stay if you want Ja, I want to go home. This is stressing me out.” She replied.
“ But… but… but…”
“No more buts Ja, you can stay as long a you want, you do need a vacation.”
“But Riya… Shin… he…” Nino began.
“ The sooner I leave the sooner he’s going to get over the hurt.”
“I’m not going to beg you to stay. You’re right. It’s your life. You decide. But couldn’t you at least stay just until Shin’s birthday next week?” Nino added.
“If stay any longer, then he would just have a hard time letting go.” She replied.
“Where are we sleeping? Shin’s heavy. I’m having cramps.” She added trying to break the uncomfortable silence that has enveloped the entire room.
“Let me help you.” I said as I stood up and carried Shin towards their room with Riya following us.